And the beat goes on

I do vow (per my comment) not to morph into some baby obsessed weirdo who is a shell of her former self. That said I MUST share some of the shocking revelations I have discovered in being pregnant. This isn't the stuff you read about in books, sex is more challenging (DUH!), you may feel tired (you think?), stretch marks are hereditary and the most expensive creme in the world would do no better then £5 Palmer's Tummy Butter (ok, the books don't actually say that, but it is a boring fact I have picked up). No this is stuff that even the most well read person with loads of prego friends may not know.

• I have been hit on and chatted up more in the last 3 months then any other time in my life. SICK. That is all I can say. I am having twins, I am visibly pregnant and have been for at least 3 months. I think it's great if you find your own partner attractive when they are pregnant with your child(s) but someone else's partner? Come on now, that is sick. When sharing this delectable fact with some old mates recently, they reminded me that I once dated a man who had a secret thing for pregnant women. Well I guess it wasn't secret after we broke up, obviously, but trust me when I say he deserved to have his weird perversions publicised (this was the tamest of them all).
• Living in England I have gotten quite accustom to people being proper and reserved and if they speak to strangers at all, focusing on pleasant things like the weather or cricket or maybe even how the weather is affecting the cricket. Get knocked up with twins and all that decency goes out the window. The first question people ask me after exclaiming, "Oh you look about ready to pop, must be due soon!" and I reply with, "No, actually I am not due until Oct, but it's twins, so I just look 9 months pregnant." They then proceed to ask me how the twins were conceived. Now, call me old fashion, but I reckon my sex life is none of their business. The other day I was in a foul mood, so when faced with this question for the 100th time that week, I calmly exclaimed, "Well, one can never be sure, but we do have A LOT of sex and in odd positions, so maybe that's what did it?" I doubt that person will ever ask someone such a personal question again.
• In general, people are lovely to you when you are the size of a baby elephant. You get random strangers smiling at you (it's only recently that I have stopped checking my face for chocolate or boogers or some other offence and accepted that they are smiling because I am fat) and most people are quite considerate when you are on the tube, bus or trains in London. But, the people who are wretched almost ruin it for the decent ones. I literally stood over a man who was sat with his 3 sons (4 seats in total) on the District Line a few weeks ago when it was like a squillion degrees due to us having our 1 week of summer. I had a large handbag as I had been at a business meeting, was in a suit and had clearly drank every last drop of water in my bottle. I may have even dripped sweat on them which I don't regret. I towered above them swinging from the pole like some crack whore who forgot the condom when she screwed her pimp for a good 20 minutes (it was one of those East London to West London 1.25 hour District Line rides). Balance was never a strong suit for me, but it's completely off these days given the fact that I have no centre of gravity and am carrying a load the size of a small island in front of me. Finally after 30 minutes, a very very kind woman on the other side of the row of seats offered me hers. I was so grateful, I offered to share with her. That man probably teaches his sons that women should walk 5 feet behind you at all times as well. Pig.

You have my word that all my posts will not be about pregnancy and babies and childbirth, but this stuff was too good not to share.